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Chris Webby - Best in the burbs

I'm rollin' safe and sound, easy as I blaze a pound
Put my middle fingers in the air and never take it down
Writin' rap for me is easy, I just play around
Hit em' with these crazy adverbs and outrageous nouns
And still no label's found me and f*ckin' signed me yet
And though I grow impatient, I know my time is next
I'm a big dog, y'all are tiny pets
I'm an autobot, I got it tatted on my chest
Optimus Prime's my mothaf*ckin' bodyguard
So I hit 'em with these you can never stop me bars
I'm at the sake bar, gettin' blacked out
Till I wake up on the sidewalk passed out
The judge is tellin' me this is my last chance
So I gotta stay grindin' like a lap dance
Got b*tches bendin' over like they had a back cramp
Insert below the lower back tat, damn
I'm why your girlfriend lacks pants
Huh, steady work her out like it's fat camp
Uh, yo, somebody grab a trash can
Sh*t, at least somewhere to ash man
I got a dutch lit, rappin' with soul
Leave you with a fat lip like you're packin' some Skoal
Cause I do it for the Franklins
I'm a blue whale and the game's full of plankton
I'm a vet, a top threat, known to rock sets
Tear it the f*ck down for DJ
So yes, I'm ballin' truly so y'all should shoot me
But you can see me on that online call of duty
Smack booty, I'm rude and intrusive, hardly lucid
Hittin' DJ Booth with that exclusive
I need no excuses, I spit that crack
Play fetch with the disc jockey bring that sh*t back
They said Asher's the best in the burbs,
Well at least that's what they said
But that's for one reason, cause they ain't heard Web
I make a mean song, plus I kick it from the head
Always buzzin' off the A.D.D. meds, Hempstead!
To CT you know I make the best stutter
No Will Ferrel, but you better step brother
Ha, that's why your girl's ass bare
I hit it, and didn't pay for the cab fare
Now relax there, don't get pissed off
I'm the survivor on my island, and you been kicked off
Think this kid's soft? R.O.F.L
I got the look, got the swag, and a flow that sells
My reputation so excels so just stop
I do more than watch for sex, drugs, and rock
I'm silly and such, fillin' a dutch
Battle dudes who simply suck
Then go f*ck Hillary Duff
Tryin' to rap it with my d*ck in the butt
And spit fire, so I'm sorry Lizzie McGuire
See, I'm rappin' past the throttle, I'll crack a bottle
So you better get the f*ckin' picture like a graphic novel
I got your little bastards boggled
You couldn't f*ck with me even if we spittin' at a brothel
Cause I be killin' em like Hostile, murderous with words
That's why they sayin' Webby is the best up in the burbs

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